Happy birthday! And huge support and cheering you on over here for your growth in all the ways - especially exploring where you can best meet your own needs. I do find that it's possible to pivot once we've made a decision that we come to find is not aligned for us - pivoting with integrity is possible. And, yea, it may make the other party uncomfortable but if it's an adult, they can handle discomfort, disappointment, etc. Congratulation on your growth! You are awesome!
1000% on being able to pivot after a decision is made! This was a rare instance when I couldn't pivot after the fact so I had to learn to live with it. But in most cases, I will try to regroup and pivot when possible. :) Thank you as always for your support!!!
Ah, yes, and then there are those moments where we can't pivot, we learn from it and shift into acceptance. It's my pleasure and it's so cool to witness all of your growth - thank you for sharing it with all of us here!
Ahh thank you so much, Meg! I'm continuously grateful that YOU are here, even if *here* no longer means Substack in the foreseeable future. But hopefully they get their act together so that isn't the case :)
Happy birthday Maryn!! That listening to yourself is so important, and how exciting that you get to keep meeting yourself.
I've felt like my spirals have spirals this year, and am excited to get into the freshness of 2024. It's a symbolic marker, but I'm hoping for more concrete changes, too. I'm telling myself that 2023 was strange and 2024 might be stranger, but, hopefully, strange in good ways.
Thank you so much! Oh, do I feel the spirals having spirals. :) Really loving the word strange in this context... Life itself is so strange. Excited to see what strangeness the new year brings for us!
Dec 17, 2023·edited Dec 17, 2023Liked by Maryn Tan
So glad you had a great birthday!! That dessert in the last photo...WOW 😍 Need that in my life.
I say this with all your pieces, but it's true for every single one — I always find myself resonating with what you're going through or reflecting on the moment [our paths aligned for a reason :')]. Totally understand and feel you on that stomach-dropping feeling of falling back into old patterns/habits after so much progress. It's so hard to remember that disappointments are inevitable in all the growing & learning we do; we somehow convince ourselves we've left the old versions of us completely behind, even though change is often gradual and has peaks and troughs. I catch myself people-pleasing daily despite all my growth and it brings so much shame, but I've been trying to let myself off the hook more. Your therapist is so right!! Even the recognition of wanting to be better to yourself next time IS growth. We just need to remind ourselves of that ❤️
Right there with you on this never-ending journey. So grateful our paths crossed so we can help remind each other of our growth and honoring ourselves! You are magic, Michelle.
"When you continuously look to external sources for how to live your life and to define what’s good for you, over time your self-trust erodes. And so does your identity. (Or, rather, you never get the chance to establish self-trust and an identity in the first place.)" This line!!! Wow wow wow.
Sorry your birthday was not as good as it could be. I have a tendency to ultra-hype-up my birthday (or the whole birthday week lol) and it's a fast recipe to end up underwhelmed.
So glad those lines hit just right, hehe. :) Thankfully my birthday turned out lovely, in large part due to working out my feelings in therapy the day before! Highly recommend a pre-birthday therapy session.
Happy birthday! And huge support and cheering you on over here for your growth in all the ways - especially exploring where you can best meet your own needs. I do find that it's possible to pivot once we've made a decision that we come to find is not aligned for us - pivoting with integrity is possible. And, yea, it may make the other party uncomfortable but if it's an adult, they can handle discomfort, disappointment, etc. Congratulation on your growth! You are awesome!
1000% on being able to pivot after a decision is made! This was a rare instance when I couldn't pivot after the fact so I had to learn to live with it. But in most cases, I will try to regroup and pivot when possible. :) Thank you as always for your support!!!
Ah, yes, and then there are those moments where we can't pivot, we learn from it and shift into acceptance. It's my pleasure and it's so cool to witness all of your growth - thank you for sharing it with all of us here!
Mmmmm your birthday based on those desserts looks real nice. And that new coat is fabulous!
The meringue sprinkles were next level. I am loooving the coat! Fully embracing the walking sleeping bag look! It's so, so cozy.
Happy Birthday! I continue to be delighted that MARYN IS HERE!
Ahh thank you so much, Meg! I'm continuously grateful that YOU are here, even if *here* no longer means Substack in the foreseeable future. But hopefully they get their act together so that isn't the case :)
Happy birthday Maryn!! That listening to yourself is so important, and how exciting that you get to keep meeting yourself.
I've felt like my spirals have spirals this year, and am excited to get into the freshness of 2024. It's a symbolic marker, but I'm hoping for more concrete changes, too. I'm telling myself that 2023 was strange and 2024 might be stranger, but, hopefully, strange in good ways.
Thank you so much! Oh, do I feel the spirals having spirals. :) Really loving the word strange in this context... Life itself is so strange. Excited to see what strangeness the new year brings for us!
So glad you had a great birthday!! That dessert in the last photo...WOW 😍 Need that in my life.
I say this with all your pieces, but it's true for every single one — I always find myself resonating with what you're going through or reflecting on the moment [our paths aligned for a reason :')]. Totally understand and feel you on that stomach-dropping feeling of falling back into old patterns/habits after so much progress. It's so hard to remember that disappointments are inevitable in all the growing & learning we do; we somehow convince ourselves we've left the old versions of us completely behind, even though change is often gradual and has peaks and troughs. I catch myself people-pleasing daily despite all my growth and it brings so much shame, but I've been trying to let myself off the hook more. Your therapist is so right!! Even the recognition of wanting to be better to yourself next time IS growth. We just need to remind ourselves of that ❤️
Right there with you on this never-ending journey. So grateful our paths crossed so we can help remind each other of our growth and honoring ourselves! You are magic, Michelle.
"When you continuously look to external sources for how to live your life and to define what’s good for you, over time your self-trust erodes. And so does your identity. (Or, rather, you never get the chance to establish self-trust and an identity in the first place.)" This line!!! Wow wow wow.
Sorry your birthday was not as good as it could be. I have a tendency to ultra-hype-up my birthday (or the whole birthday week lol) and it's a fast recipe to end up underwhelmed.
So glad those lines hit just right, hehe. :) Thankfully my birthday turned out lovely, in large part due to working out my feelings in therapy the day before! Highly recommend a pre-birthday therapy session.