Existing in January

On just being in the month after December

Jan 28, 2024

January is almost over and for the first time in recent memory, I’m actually a little bit sad about it. I’ve really loved this January. Historically? Not the case! January in my mind was always the bleak, somewhat depressing month when I attempted to muster up non-existent energy to better myself and inevitably fell flat.

This January, I’ve tried to treat it as simply the month that comes after December. Another month to practice wintering: resting, retreating, and hibernating, and not feeling bad about doing any of these things because this is what winter is for!

So I’ve been wintering and loving it.

Letting myself simply exist in this season has given me a little bonus gift of contentedness, which isn’t a state I would normally associate myself with. I’ve always envied those who seem to be emotionally steady, meanwhile, I felt like I was forever managing my own internal rollercoaster.

And maybe… just letting myself be… with no expectations for myself than truly to just be… has finally steadied my system.

[For now, of course.]

5-4-3-2-1

Back in August, I wrote through a grounding practice I turn to when I’m anxious. I’m not anxious right now, but to celebrate just being, I want to come back to it.

Some folks call it the “5-4-3-2-1” method, and its purpose is to help you get out of your head and into your body using your senses.

It goes like this:

Name 5 things you can see
Name 4 things you can touch
Name 3 things you can hear
Name 2 things you can smell
Name 1 thing you can taste

Written on January 23rd around 6 pm:

5 things I can see

The deep blue night sky
Still-up holiday twinkle lights reflecting in the window
Freddy dancing in the kitchen while he prepares dinner
A mushroom lamp providing some needed glow
Marvelous Mrs. Maisel cued up on the TV (watching for the first time!)

4 things I can touch

Lotion sinking into my perpetually dry hands
My lips ready for another swipe of chapstick (anyone else a compulsive chapstick user?)
My legs and feet stretched across a stool while I sit on the couch
The coolness of my laptop on my skin

3 things I can hear

Fried rice sizzling on the stove (c/o Freddy)
The low hum of the refrigerator
Monet (our dog) huffing and puffing at people walking past our apartment because she is PROTECTOR

2 things I can smell

The Japanese barbecue sauce Freddy just added to the fried rice sizzling on the stove
Monet’s breath after a spontaneous hand lick

1 thing I can taste

Remnants of chili crunch heat after consuming aforementioned fried rice c/o Freddy

I’d love to know

What are some things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste right now? How has your January/winter been? When was the last time you did absolutely nothing and let yourself just be?

A big thank you

I was gobsmacked to have my “Maryn is wintering” post recommended by

Kayti Christian

in her most recent piece for

Feelings Not Aside

. Thank you, Kayti!!! There are some new friends here as a result — thank you so much for being here. Please feel free to say hi in the comments below, if you like. You can read Kayti’s beyond gorgeous piece here: